Il était une fois... A hair story!

PC: Sophie Seydel. Come dressed as how you feel as a woman!

This is about hair.

When I was a young girl I had long and frizzy hair. Most women with short hair in my community used a relaxer to make their hair straight and look longer. I never really understood why my mother would not let me relax my hair too. I was curious, nonetheless. So curious that, one day, I disobeyed and asked for my hair to be relaxed at an aunt’s house.

After that, I felt pretty and fashionable. My hair was like my dolls’. I could braid it, tie it into a pony tail, comb it straight; I could have any hairstyle I wanted.

I enjoyed straightening my hair until I realized how I was ruining it. The worst happened when, one day, while washing it, I watched my hair fall onto the floor, strand after strand. The sight of it was unbearable. I felt like this child, traumatized to eat meat after watching an animal being killed. Since then, I have never thought of relaxing my hair again.

This is not JUST about hair but also identity. I felt like I was trying to take in the identity of someone else, maybe of my Barbie dolls.

That experience stimulated that sudden need to know more about my own story and identity. In a nutshell, the question: “Why should I change it?” came to grasp my attention. I came to immerse myself into the African history and cultures.

The writings of Egyptologist and historians like Cheikh Anta Diop and Joseph Ki-zerbo have been particularly inspiring and eye-opening to me. While Diop writes eloquently about the resemblance, cohesion and uniqueness of cultures in Africa, it seemed paradoxical to me that many African women and men were denying and ignoring their roots, particularly when it comes to female beauty ideals. I decided to be open to other cultures while further valuing and appreciating mine. My skin color and my frizzy hair were true aesthetic definitions of who I was.

I discovered that more dark-skinned women were feeling less beautiful than lighter-skinned women in many societies, not just in Africa. I believe they couldn’t see the value of what they have. They couldn’t understand that everyone has a different type of beauty that they should appreciate and not try to change. Instead, they would buy products designed to deteriorate the natural beauty of African women, sadly.

My personal change was not met with enthusiasm. Why did I let my hair become so frizzy, so weird and so ugly? Everyone would ask. Even my family tried to convince me to relax my hair, to look like a “beautiful Senegalese girl” again. This lack of support did not stop me. My battle is to show those girls, reassure them that being an African woman with voluptuous curves, frizzy curls, and dark skin is not bad at all, nor is it something to be ashamed of. I want them to know that they do not have to be someone else to please the society or the opposite gender. I do not want them to change anything for anyone. I just want them to open their eyes and see how beautiful they are, no matter how many times people will tell them the opposite. Every human being gain a lot staying as they are and I’m quoting Oscar Wilde saying “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

Fortunately, I am not alone. Many girls have discovered the treasure of their attributes and are sharing their experience with others. I am also glad to say that after resisting the pressure at home and defending my “new style”, some people approached me to ask if changing had been difficult or what to do with their hair. Luckily, I could honestly tell them “No!” and talk passionately about my change and my “natural” hair keeping. So this is about hair – but not just about hair. 

One question that then comes up, is the physical self just for beauty? Shouldn't women especially consider how overdoing things can affect who we are?